I’ve been on a bit of a hiphop binge recently, having discovered the joys of Aussie rap a couple of years ago. In Australia we seem to do hiphop a little differently to the rest of the world: where the Americans typically have set themes, viz
- girls, gold, guns;
- life growing up in the ‘hood;
- my cocaine/alcohol/meth addiction and how I overcame adversity by finding Jesus,
in Australia, we don’t hold back. While I’m sure everyone knows by now that I hate to generalise, Australian hiphop tracks fall into one of two categories NO EXCEPTIONS
- EVERYTHING IS AMAZING YOU ARE A UNIQUE SNOWFLAKE FUCK YEAH
- I am sitting in my empty, inner-Sydney apartment clutching a bottle of Hendricks, contemplating my broken life.
Bliss n Eso tend to cover the former, while Horrorshow are a good example of the latter. A good Horrorshow album breaks you. After listening to Bliss n Eso you want to run down the street and punch people in the face because you love them.
So anyway, I was sitting in hospital, high on painkillers having just had my foot reassembled and I made the mistake of cranking some BnE to, you know, pass the time. At that point I had an idea: I should ride a motorbike from one side of Europe to the other.
I pulled out my laptop and googled some things like “how to buy a motorbike in russia” and “sidecars: convenient luggage compartment or deathtrap?”. I fired up a new spreadsheet. Time passed, the painkillers were replaced with Churchill martinis, and suddenly here I am 12 weeks later with a one-way ticket to Japan, multiple motorbikes, a lot of empty gin bottles and a slight hangover.
I am about 80% sure this is a good idea.
The plan, such that it is, is to ride my Suzuki DR650 – currently on a cargo ship bound for Osaka, Japan – from Vladivostok (the far eastern coast of Russia) all the way across Mongolia and Europe to the west coast of the continent. How I do that is fairly vague – I have some plans for Mongolia, awesome people to visit in Japan, and some things to do in eastern Russia, but aside from that it’s open ended. I’ve got to be back by late November because I have a friend’s wedding and if I missed that I would be sad. There would also be no place on earth I could go to hide from his fiance’s wrath.
So that’s the plan.
Here’s a map. As you can see, the route is … sketchy:
I understand sketchy maps make things more fun; my reptilian hindbrain disagrees.
Oh, and I don’t have a passport. Wooo